Martin Feaver with his hat off greeting

I’m not into websites. You can probably tell. I’m into people. I love ‘em. It’s my passion to explore and discover what makes you and I, our minds and our bodies, tick. I get a buzz from listening to the language people use to talk about themselves and their experience of the world. I have a joy for learning, listening and sharing. 

The binary world of right and wrong, good and bad, black and white, gay and straight, rich and poor…isn’t for me. A good decision one day can become a bad one the next. Life is more nuanced and subtle. Polarisations and judgements isolate, create division and instil doubts of self worth that generate a fear of being good enough and fitting in. There are more similarities between us than there are differences.

Changing in a triathlonIf anyone ever told you life was always an easy ride you were misled. Expecting life to be a continuous breeze is when your struggles begin! It absolutely can have its easy fun times, joys and rewards. It’s also got its challenges, tough periods and can be uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. I know. I’ve been there. Several times.

For years my biggest issue was my body image and body confidence. Taking my shirt off in public was torture and I could feel great about my body one minute and then worried and ashamed of it the next. Those days are behind me.

There was also the challenge of living up to labels…of being a man, a son, a partner, an athlete, a student, a lover, a businessman, a success…Each label meant playing a role, pleasing and meeting the expectations of others and scared of being seen and being me. If I played the roles well enough I believed, hoped, I’d fit in, be good enough and be accepted. It was an exhausting way to live. I was more unfulfilled than unhappy

There were great insights as well as ending up down blind alleys and spending time wondering, dismissing and worrying if I was getting things right. I doubted then had absolute certainty. There were tears, frustration, laughter and joy. The twists and turns were taking me to where I am today. If only I’d known that at the time! There was no wrong or right way. I was searching for THE answer. I kept asking for it. There isn’t one. There never was. 

I used all I had experienced and started to let go of some of my old limiting and restrictive patterns and habits of thinking, feeling and doing and create new empowering ones. I began to have trust and faith in me. It was a bit wobbly at first. New habits and patterns often are. I began to take responsibility for me. I understood my life was up to me! Yours is as well. 😉

Atomic Habits - James ClearThese days I am a changed man. My life begins with me and feels fun, exciting and fulfilling. I have more energy and self belief. I feel empowered and that I’m thriving. My body feels stronger and my mind is lighter and calmer. There’s lots to enjoy on the ride.

Mind you I haven’t arrived at some magnificent place of enlightenment or continual peace and joy despite being a vegetarian, triathlete and non caffeine drinker! Life is a rich and diverse experience that can still bring challenges. The difference is I handle them with changed awareness and a variety of approaches.

Martin with an ice cream Nowadays I want to work with you if you feel ready to be free of limiting labels and others expectations, be yourself and have a powerful desire to make a difference to yourself and the world beyond. 

I’ve been doing this work for many years now with individuals, sportspeople, in companies and on the road. Workshops, retreats, courses, writing for magazines and being on the Beeb are also in the mix.

My mantra is ‘Enjoy the day you create’. Do you?

Enjoy the day you create.
Martin Feaver signiture