Stop Blaming the Pandemic or Yourself!

Are you blaming yourself for not exercising as much, gaining weight, struggling to be inspired or finding it hard to be motivated because of the Coronavirus pandemic? I’m here to tell you its time to stop it. 

Over the past few months I’ve had a number of conversations where the other person has shared how they have been, or are, ‘failing’. They feel its their fault and that they can’t lay all the blame on the doorstep of the pandemic. Its time for a reality check.

The way we have dealt with the pandemic has been a mixed bag because each of us has different experiences and resources and have, and are, handling it differently.

In the first Lockdown there was the unknown, fear, curiosity, fascination and even novelty. For many it seemed the appetite for exercise was insatiable whereas others became couch potatoes. Some discovered the freedom of working at home, others their homes, or rooms, became prisons without a release date. The opportunity for family time increased and so did the potential for isolation and loneliness. Weight loss and weight gain became Lockdown topics. New careers emerged and other jobs folded. Long outstanding tasks were completed at last and in other homes the list grew longer. Some found inspiration and innovation and others mundanity. Technology skills improved with virtual business meetings and family gatherings whereas others switched off. There were winners and losers.

We were bombarded with news and information and had to handle that as well. Fear levels rose along with the uncertainty and changes in our daily routines and patterns. Holidays, pubs, cinemas and gyms were off limits. Meeting friends and family weren’t allowed, hospital visits were limited or banned altogether despite more very unwell people being in them and dying and, at a time when the number of funerals were increasing, there were restrictions who could attend them.

With each subsequent lockdown there have been similar experiences and again our responses and behaviours have adapted and been as individual and varied as they were  the first one round. For many the closer we have got to the easing of restrictions the harder its felt to make it to the finish line. Its like the last part of any journey when you’re close and it feels so far with inevitable question of “Are we there yet?” on everyone’s lips. Well someone will actually ask it. 😉

Your experienc differs from the reality

This pandemic has been unique in our life time and its not only our supplies of PPE that have been tested! We weren’t prepared. It was thrust upon us without a choice. We had to learn on the job, to cope, and we pretty much have done that. It has been an incredibly steep learning curve and learning is never a straight line!

Now rather than beat yourself up for not having achieved all you wanted to, putting on weight or struggling mentally its time to be kind to you and recognise that you made it. Ok it may not have turned out exactly how you would have liked it and though we continually hear of the great success stories of people being amazing or achieving the body they’ve always wanted, creating a unique business online or sailing through the pandemic effortlessly its not how everyone made it. We each had our way. That’s how you made it.

Does this mean that its ok to blame the pandemic for your perceived short comings? Nope. If you blame the pandemic you will also blame yourself and blame, even in small doses, doesn’t do any of us any favours.

Blame camouflages the real challenges in our lives and keeps our focus away from appreciating what we do have and what’s going right. Blame leads us to feel we are victims, powerless to change our situation, and erodes our self worth whereas taking responsibility puts us in the driving seat of our lives even if its tough going at times.

When you tell your story of the pandemic be kind, very kind, very very kind, as you take responsibility for you and your actions. See the way your life has been over the last year in the context of what has been going on for you. Comparisons with others is the thief of your joy and remember you only knew what you knew at the time. After all, its not as if you, or anyone else for that matter, had an instruction manual called ‘How to Live my Life During a Worldwide Pandemic’ and misread, or ignored, the instructions!

Till the next time…

Enjoy the day you create.

Martin Feaver signature



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