Martin Feaver with his hat off greeting

Hi. I’m Martin and I’m not into websites. You can probably tell. I’m into people. I love ‘em. It’s my passion to explore and discover what makes you and I, our minds and our bodies, tick. I get a buzz from listening to the language people use to talk about themselves and their experience of the world. I have a joy for learning, listening and sharing. 

The binary world of right and wrong, good and bad, black and white, gay and straight, rich and poor…isn’t for me. A good decision one day can become a bad one the next. Life is more nuanced and subtle. Polarisations and judgements isolate, create division and instil doubts of self worth that generate a fear of being good enough and fitting in. There are more similarities between us than there are differences.

Changing in a triathlonIf anyone ever told you life was always an easy ride you were misled. Expecting life to be a continuous breeze is when your struggles begin! It absolutely can have its easy fun times, joys and rewards. It’s also got its challenges, tough periods and can be uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. I know. I’ve been there. Several times.

For years my biggest issues were being gay, my body image and body confidence. My sexuality meant I didn’t know who I was and where I fitted in and taking my shirt off in public was torture. I could feel great about my body one minute and then worried and ashamed of it the next. 

There was also the challenge of living up to labels and the expectations of others…of being a man, a son, a partner, an athlete, a student, a lover, a businessman, a success…playing a role and scared of being seen, being me and being found out that I wasn’t good enough. If I played the roles well enough I believed, hoped, I’d fit in and be accepted. It was an exhausting way to live. 

Those days are behind me now. It wasn’t an overnight process. Our patterns get entrenched over years and take some shifting. Acceptance and not giving the power to others to decide my worth were significant in owning my life.  

After several dark periods, I wanted to stop being fearful and made the decision that things had to change. I wanted to be me and live life on my terms. That was the first step. It may be yours as well. I invested in me and began exploring possibilities to make some changes. I read lots and rediscovered my interest and belief in the significance of the mind body connection.I attended numerous course and workshops on neurology, solution focused coaching, language, nutrition, somatic movement, muscle activation, Thai yoga massage and myofascial release therapy. I met incredible people and had heaps of wonderful experiences professionally and personally and bit by bit things changed.

Atomic Habits - James ClearThere were great insights as well as ending up down blind alleys and spending time wondering, dismissing and worrying if I was getting things right. I doubted then had absolute certainty. There were tears, frustration, laughter and joy. The twists and turns were taking me to where I am today. If only I’d known that at the time! There is no wrong or right way. I kept searching for THE answer. There isn’t one. There never was.

I used all I had experienced and learnt and started to let go of some of my old limiting and restrictive patterns and habits of thinking, feeling and doing and create new empowering ones. I began to have trust and faith in me. It was a bit wobbly at first. New habits and patterns often are. I began to take responsibility for me. I understood my life was up to me! Yours is as well. 😉

These days my life begins with me and feels fun, exciting and fulfilling. I have more energy and self belief. My body feels stronger and my mind is lighter and calmer. There’s lots to enjoy. Mind you I haven’t arrived at some magnificent place of enlightenment or continual peace and joy despite being a vegetarian, triathlete and non caffeine drinker! Life is a rich and diverse experience that has its ups and downs. That’s what life is and knowing that, along with what I‘ve learnt and experienced, is what makes life different these days. 

Martin with an ice creamNowadays, through MASC – Men and Somatic Connection, I work with men who want to explore options and possibilities in living their lives differently. Often they are ready to be free of limiting labels and others expectations, live life on their terms, want to know and be themselves, perform at their best and make a difference to their own lives and the world beyond. 

I’ve been doing this work and spreading awareness of the mind body connection for many years now with individuals, sportspeople, in companies and on the road. Workshops, retreats, courses, speaking engagements, writing for magazines and being on the Beeb are also in the mix.

My mantra is ‘Enjoy the day you create’. Do you?

Enjoy the day you create.
Martin Feaver signiture